Let's take a solemn vow, right here and now, to end the holy wars once and for all before anyone else gets hurt. I am not referring to the purportedly religion-induced violence that we read so much about in our daily newspapers. No, brothers and sisters, I am talking about holy wars that are waged much closer to the homes of most readers of this column.
Even the most devout of priests, rabbis, imams, monks, or swamis have nothing to teach technology gurus about intense and pious debate about holy dogma. It is just that IT religionists pray at a very different altar. IT zealots can often be seen to work themselves into a deep fervor, if not an actual lather, over the latest technical premise or practice, frequently lapsing into what, to those of us who are less technically orthodox, sounds like speaking in tongues.
I first became aware of this new religion when relational databases entered the market. During the days of relational enlightenment, programmer/analysts, system programmers, and database administrators vigorously debated for hours on end how closely this database or that database adhered to the 12 rules laid out by the person usually attributed as the father and high priest of relational theory, Dr. E.F. Codd. After lengthy spiritual deliberation, white smoke rose from the chimney as the anointed ones, blessed be they, announced the subject database's percentage adherence to the relational model, down to two decimal places. How these people got any real work done and held onto their jobs was totally beyond me. You might think that I am exaggerating just a tad, but it is the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help me Codd.
IT people's need for this new-time religion was and is insatiable. Once the relational liturgies ran their course, IT devotees began to attend fervent prayer meetings where they pledged devotion to rapid application development (RAD) and fourth-generation programming languages (4GL). I must admit to falling under the spell of the 4GL cult, but a group of colleagues kidnapped and deprogrammed me.
After RAD and 4GL, it was object-oriented programming's turn at the altar. On the application side of the pews, many have preached and still preach the gospel of ERP, CRM, and a few other three-initialed product categories. And who could ever forget the zealous sermons about the divinity of data warehousing and business intelligence? More recently, Web Services have been rapidly gathering faithful adherents who believe that they have found the true path to salvation.
It would not be so bad if there were unanimity about which deity we should consecrate our lives to, but no, we frequently battle over which of two or more gods to worship. At Web Services synod meetings, fierce holy wars break out over whether to kneel at the altar of .NET or J2EE. (As a writer, I cannot get behind any god whose name forces us to place a period before the end of a sentence.)
A pre-existing dedication to the Microsoft or Java faith inevitably determines in which church a Web Services devotee worships. Conversions are rare and undertaken only after considerable internal turmoil. In fact, when Microsoft and Sun were witnessed earlier this year repeatedly French-kissing in public, followers of both sects had to be placed under suicide watches. The blasphemous detente of their spiritual leaders, Steve Ballmer and Scott McNealy, was too much for them to bear.
In the early ages, practice of the new faiths was limited to the inner sanctums of the data center. However, as computing became ubiquitous, techno-religion began to spread to the larger population. Anyone who has been in a crowd split between Mac and Windows users knows exactly what I am talking about. Or one need look no further than a BlackBerry user to find profound piety.
It's time to call an end to these ridiculous IT religious devotions and holy wars. I may be struck dead by lightning for saying this, but it really doesn't matter which technology or development methodology you use, as long as it gets the job done. The debate should be over how well it does the job that needs doing, not how well it conforms to some technical dogma decreed by the IT guru du jour.
Yeah, verily I say unto thee, if you are not already one, it is time to become a technology atheist. A technology is not a deity. A development concept is not a religious teaching. And a programming language manual is definitely not a prayer book. Rather than spend my time praying at the alter of technology, I prefer to keep my Sabbaths and holy days free for truly spiritual pursuits, such as lying on the couch, binging on cashews, and rereading Douglas Adams' The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy series for the umpteenth time.
Joel Klebanoff is a consultant, a writer, and president of Klebanoff Associates, Inc., a Toronto, Canada-based marketing communications firm. Joel has 25 years experience working in IT, first as a programmer/analyst and then as a marketer. He holds a Bachelor of Science in computer science and an MBA, both from the University of Toronto. Contact him at
More than ever, there is a demand for IT to deliver innovation. Your IBM i has been an essential part of your business operations for years. However, your organization may struggle to maintain the current system and implement new projects. The thousands of customers we've worked with and surveyed state that expectations regarding the digital footprint and vision of the company are not aligned with the current IT environment.
TRY the one package that solves all your document design and printing challenges on all your platforms. Produce bar code labels, electronic forms, ad hoc reports, and RFID tags – without programming! MarkMagic is the only document design and print solution that combines report writing, WYSIWYG label and forms design, and conditional printing in one integrated product. Make sure your data survives when catastrophe hits. Request your trial now! Request Now.
Forms of ransomware has been around for over 30 years, and with more and more organizations suffering attacks each year, it continues to endure. What has made ransomware such a durable threat and what is the best way to combat it? In order to prevent ransomware, organizations must first understand how it works.
Disaster protection is vital to every business. Yet, it often consists of patched together procedures that are prone to error. From automatic backups to data encryption to media management, Robot automates the routine (yet often complex) tasks of iSeries backup and recovery, saving you time and money and making the process safer and more reliable. Automate your backups with the Robot Backup and Recovery Solution. Key features include:
Business users want new applications now. Market and regulatory pressures require faster application updates and delivery into production. Your IBM i developers may be approaching retirement, and you see no sure way to fill their positions with experienced developers. In addition, you may be caught between maintaining your existing applications and the uncertainty of moving to something new.
IT managers hoping to find new IBM i talent are discovering that the pool of experienced RPG programmers and operators or administrators with intimate knowledge of the operating system and the applications that run on it is small. This begs the question: How will you manage the platform that supports such a big part of your business? This guide offers strategies and software suggestions to help you plan IT staffing and resources and smooth the transition after your AS/400 talent retires. Read on to learn:
LATEST COMMENTS
MC Press Online